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Monday, October 5, 2009 @ 4:58 PM

The true story

Alright.. I think most of you still do not understand the true story.. sorry girl this one i have to explain it in blog, since they love to read it.. and there is no harm towards you and me. I'm just saying the facts about what happened... Not gonna offend anyone, no offence, this is just pure feelings and explanations from my side, no arguments please, anything just tell me, in a nice way of course..

Here goes the story,

1ST MISUNDERSTANDING:
I added his friends, he say i suspect him, and at that same time i accidently smsed her a sms that led to one big problem, the problem is, i was gonna send my workmate that sms because she lied to me that i have work that day, although it was my off day. And i sent to the wrong person and sent to her. And she thought i was saying her so she go and tell him, and he got angry and because at that time we were in a quarrel between me adding his friends, he blew up the matter and say break up. And i was like whao? Seriously i was just adding friends for my games, and not only his friends i add, i added alot others of my friends' friends.

And i got so mad at her for sending unneccessary things to him as the sms was not for her and i had already apologized i sent wrongly after i sent that sms.

And the matter got more complicated when she post it in her blog, so i post that matter up on my blog too, because i was to get the facts right. And he thinks i was the one who post it out first, she thinks so too, and everyone thinks so too, let's get this part super right because it's the posting that get heated up right? She posted a part about 'something stupid happened blah blah blah she's not the one that caused us to break up blah blah blah and ask me to think and said i was funny'. If you were the person being said, would you would get angry because you were not in the wrong in the first place? It's somebody's distrust and somebody's post that led to it.

Hence i've post something out, replying and getting the facts right.. and some people read it.. and spread to the rest of the people.. i mean, am i the one who spread? it's that one person who read it, and he/she is the one who spreads, what have it got to do with me? Well partly, but i'm posting about me, him and her and it got nothing to do with those people right? And i was just replying to what she said about us too.

And i don't know what the hell happened, it drag the others not relevant or non-related to this case in, and they start fucking me up, pestering my phone with calls, texting me and him.. putting out in blogs.. I was like what?!

Oh and her brother smsed me a message scolding me (Of course at that time when you see a sms full of vulgarities you would think it was for you right) And her brother did not even say he sent wrongly and apologize, so i took it as a sms for me too, well that led to me taking pills and almost killing myself..

And then i got mad at the people as they put my names in their blog and they say me when i never even say them..i went to post about them too, since you guys want to be part of it. And then all the blame went to me again..wow..

And instead of siding me, he scolded and shout at me all the way at that time. Asking me to delete the posts, rushed me to delete them, but to his friends who posted on me so harshly with my names, he took his time.. I really have to voice this out because his mind isn't thinking straight and i'm really pissed off why i've always being framed. And i'm tired of this fucking relationship as there is no trust for that 3 years.

I can imagine getting married to you and suffering like what my aunt had mentioned.. 3 years.. 3 years this is what i get.. His parents dislike me, his people against me, he distrust me. Why not i just lead my life happily, life is short, and i might kill myself anytime due to depression (I've had depression since i was 4). So what do you expect? When things start all the blame goes to me, even my family blame me for stuffs that i did not even create. God gave me this fate or pure unlucky?

And i become the monster. And you guys start talking bad things and create stories behind my back there everytime, like i don't know, he knows he also never side me or support me, i have someone who tell me everything k..
"You've asked me to side you, but did you?"

2ND MISUNDERSTANDING:
I had the heart to befriend you all, first impression was ruin by 2 girls who looked down on me when i first went there, i do not know who is the 2 because i never get their names, but if you 2 knows, i think you get what i meant.. First time there and no guides, of course i would get upset and give that gloomy look.. I'm like a lost puppy in there.. He is not with me as he's at the guy's side, no one to advice me..

3RD MISUNDERSTANDING:
Even for his home's lessons, his mum said i had no heart to attend, imagine you have a house rule of reaching home by 9.30pm, and you got school that day, won't you be tired and scared that your parents would scold you for being out so late? Even at the other place it starts at 8pm and end like 11.30pm? How can i go?

4TH MISUNDERSTANDING:
And for outings, i got a few times walk out, why? Because he made me angry, first is he lied to me that the person he's chatting with is his friend and is a guy and is a long time friend, but when i called, it's a her~ And she just knew him only just like, awhile only? If friend why lie in the first place? I got angry and walked out, he's parents got mad for the wrong reason still... And then from then on he don't want me to go for outings with him le... My fault again?

5TH MISUNDERSTANDING:
Even when out with his friends, they say i gloomy look, or dao look, but, seriously i get tired right? You guys get tired? You mean i have to smile 24hours all the way like some mental patient? You guys did not smile and had that dao look too.

6TH MISUNDERSTANDING:
Tolerated and tolerated the untruth about me, i had enough, i had ruin my life for the pass 3 years and what do i get? Doing things but not appreciated, without the 2 words 'Thank you'. Why judge people by the cover and jump to conclusion without getting the facts right first?

Today's Reflection Journal:
Just like today, i had no mood to go to school, wanted to go over his place and batch things up, he ask me not to go because he's going gym, and when i said i want to use the net, he said his mum is gonna say me when i'm alone. And i'm like some pathetic fool roaming in Macdonald's, the 501 vegetarian stall, the void deck for those few hours doing nothing. And i've even dress up nicely so i can go for Benson's birthday with him or something, but he spoilt my mood in everything~!! End up i went home and did not go anywhere after that.. And guess what, he said he's not going to the party, but he went..

I really had enough, all i want to say now is, believe what i've said, or hear my explanation~!!

You can go about scolding me about what i post here, cause i wouldn't care already, you did not even care when i was out there.. whether i got rob by a mental patient of my money (I really got robbed), you did not care how i feel, you did not care what i needed...All you want is that mian zi (Face) of yours without caring much less about the truth, what people tell you you take it, what i tell you you fake it and don't believe it.. How can we survive through together next time? Could you please please please don't do that to me again? Don't prove me wrong in knowing you..

Otherwise, all i can say is, we're over..