Imagine, if.

Spiffy welcome to all, Don't like then shoo.

Sunday, May 25, 2008 @ 3:23 PM

haiizz =(

Dear bloggy~

Today's Sunday..wanted to go out but can't..haii boring day...i hate today really...woke up after a terrible nightmare...then first thing is get a rough message from Mr.eyore..haii...almost everytime will happen bad things...i really hope all this suffering ends...once and for all..but i have my own difficulties too...why can't things go smoothly for me? is it a punishment or some sort? haiz... maybe the sins i created is too much...i need to pay for it...

So..For today...woke up and read newspapers...then go have my breakfast...2 slices of toast bread with jam and a warm cup of milk tea...finished it and went to use my laptop...chatted with Mr.eyore...not really a nice chat again...whatever...every time get accuse all that...just loved the older days..those laughter and smiles...

Now listening to BoA's songs to ease the boredom...need to pack my luggage soon before next week...going japan soon...6 more days...don't feel excited today though...mood today damn low to the bottom..haii..after that get scolding from mama..every time she scold my younger brother or who in the family.. she will put it on me...why?! Why no one understand i'm suffering? just that i'm putting a brave front to hide the pain...i've lost so much friends just because of this...

Depression coming back again..need to take medicines again..suddenly reflecting on those bad stuffs and regretful things i've done...i need to settle it or i won't be able to rest in peace for the rest of my life...but in the right direction of course...and no one must get hurt from what i'm settling..cause this would mean that i've created another sin...if i never pray everyday to be able to sleep well that night..i think i will be killing myself...

Phew..felt better after writing everything i felt to bloggy...things seem to be better now cause Mr.eyore is talking to me nicely..if Mr.eyore would always do that...i won't be feeling so low all the time..needed Mr.eyore's support to keep going forward..like i've said..the ink in my pen...that's the true meaning in that phrase...hope Mr.eyore understand...

Well...what else to say...today having sushi again..mama making them...tough on her...vinegar scent filled the house...remembered the last time i made sushi too...took 4 hours to do them...but it was worth it...because..everytime i see the ones eating them clear the food..it means they are delicious..so it's worth it...

Haii...Tomorrow still have to go to school..don't feel like going lah...everytime go there so emo one...talk to classmates sometimes like talking to wall...or is it i talked to soft?? don't know lah...but don't feel the sense of belonging in the class..

Still remembered last friday..facilator and the class wanted to organise an outing to sentosa...they went to put on the 6th of june at first..but then i said i'm still at japan..i felt ignored...no one seem to care about what i've said..then only when one classmate said can 13th june..then they say ok..but i mentioned again that i would be back by 15th june..but again was ignored...why?! class outing surpose to be everyone being able to turn up what..after 15 june one of the days go cannot mah? i feel that they don't even care to have one less person...nevermind then..can't wait to change class for next semester...don't feel like being in the class..felt betrayed...ever since that very day i was left alone in class during lunch..i was in the toilet..no one bother to wait for me to go eat together...forget it then..at least Mr.eyore was with me...=)

Was so happy once when Mr.eyore actually called me during my lunch break..chatted happily..but mood changed when Mr.eyore heard guys' voices...haii...then quarrel nors..i don't know for what also...

Okie bloggy..end here...talked to much..felt better talking to you..=) bye chat with ya tomorrow..=D

-Tiff- ^^v